Grief Counseling After a Death or Major Loss
Grief counseling gives you a place to talk about a loss with a trained therapist and to find ways to carry it day to day. Grief is a normal reaction to losing someone or something important, and it does not follow a set order or timeline. Counseling can help when the weight feels like too much to hold alone.
Who it helps
The death of a spouse, parent, child, sibling or friend
A loss that others seem to expect you to be past by now
Anger or guilt mixed in with the sadness
Trouble sleeping or eating since the loss
Grief over a divorce, a diagnosis or another life change
Dreading holidays, birthdays or anniversaries
Grief after a death, and after other losses
MedlinePlus, from the National Library of Medicine, defines grief as a reaction to a major loss of someone or something. Bereavement is the period of grief and mourning after a death. Grief can also follow the end of a significant relationship, or an illness that changes the life you expected.
Grief is not only an emotion. It can be mental, physical, social or emotional. People describe anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness and despair, along with sleeping problems and changes in appetite.
There is no correct sequence. MedlinePlus notes that grief reactions might not occur in a specific order, can occur together, and are not all felt by everyone. Mental Health America puts it this way: there is no real order to the grieving process. How long it lasts can depend on how close you were to the person, whether the death was expected, and other factors.
Grief and depression are not the same thing
Grieving is part of the normal process of reacting to a loss. Depression is a mood disorder. The National Institute of Mental Health describes it as symptoms present most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks, such as a persistent sad or empty mood, loss of interest in activities, feelings of worthlessness, and thoughts of death or suicide.
The two can overlap, and one can lead to the other. MedlinePlus notes that grief that goes on for a while may lead to depression, and it advises contacting a health care provider if you cannot cope with grief, are using alcohol or drugs to excess, or become very depressed.
You do not have to sort out which one it is before you call. A therapist can help you tell them apart, and if depression is part of the picture, depression counseling may be part of the plan.
If you are having thoughts of suicide or are in crisis, call or text 988 or call 911. Our office does not provide emergency services.
What grief counseling involves
MedlinePlus says grief counseling or grief therapy is helpful to some people, alongside support from friends, family and faith. Counseling does not try to hurry you or tell you how to feel. Depending on what you need, time with a therapist may include:
Talking about the person or the life you lost, including the complicated parts
Saying things out loud that feel hard to say to family
Making sense of guilt, anger, relief or numbness
Planning for hard dates and for everyday tasks that now fall to you
Looking after sleep, meals and routines while you grieve
Finding ways to stay connected to the person's memory
How sessions tend to unfold
Telling your therapist about the loss. In a first session, your therapist invites you to share what has been going on and any goals you have. There is no script.
Deciding how often to meet. Weekly sessions are typically recommended at the beginning. You and your therapist decide together and can change the rhythm later.
Working between sessions. You may be given something small to try at home, such as writing down a memory or reaching out to one person.
Adjusting as things change. Grief shifts over time, and so can the focus of your sessions.
When a family is grieving together
People in the same household often grieve the same loss in different ways and at different speeds. That can leave a family feeling out of step just when its members need each other.
We work with children, teens, adults, couples and families. Some families come together for family therapy after a death. Parents sometimes ask for child and pediatric counseling for a child who has lost a grandparent, parent or sibling. Many adults simply prefer individual counseling of their own.
Appointments, insurance and reaching us
In-person and telehealth appointments are available at our offices in Salisbury, on Maryland's Eastern Shore, and in Bethesda. Telehealth depends on where you are located during the session, so ask when you call.
We accept many insurance plans and offer a Sliding Fee Program. Details are on the insurance and fees page. To ask a question or schedule, call 443-978-8688 or use the contact page. For more background, read what grief counseling is.
Frequently asked questions
Are the stages of grief something I am supposed to go through in order?
No. MedlinePlus lists reactions such as denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance, and notes that they might not occur in a specific order, can occur together, and are not experienced by everyone. Mental Health America also says there is no real order to the grieving process. If your grief looks different from what you expected, that does not mean you are doing it wrong.
How long does grief last?
There is no set length. MedlinePlus says it can depend on how close you were to the person who died, whether the death was expected, and other factors. Mental Health America notes that mourning is personal and may last months or years. Counseling is not about meeting a deadline.
How do I know if it is grief or depression?
They can look alike, and they can occur together. Grief is a normal reaction to loss. Depression is a mood disorder with symptoms present most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Only a clinician can assess which you are experiencing, and that is one thing a first appointment is for.
Is it too soon, or too late, to start grief counseling?
There is no required waiting period and no cutoff. Some people come within days of a death, and others come years later when a loss resurfaces. Mental Health America advises seeking professional help if your grief seems like too much to bear. You are welcome whenever you decide you would like support.
Can counseling help with a loss that is not a death?
Yes. MedlinePlus describes grief as a reaction to a major loss of someone or something, and notes that it can follow the end of a significant relationship or a serious illness. People also come to us after losing a job, a home, a pregnancy or a role that mattered to them.
Does insurance cover grief counseling?
Coverage depends on your plan and your benefits, so please check with your insurer before your first visit. We accept plans including CareFirst / Blue Cross Blue Shield, Cigna, Humana, Medicare, Medicaid and Tricare. Self-pay individual therapy is $130 for 45 to 50 minutes or $65 for 30 minutes, and a Sliding Fee Program is available.
Can I meet with a grief counselor by telehealth?
Yes, telehealth appointments are available, as are in-person visits. Some people find it easier to talk about a loss from home, and others would rather be in a room with their therapist. Telehealth depends on where you are located during the session, so ask when you call.
Ready to talk with someone?
Call 443-978-8688 or request an appointment. We see clients in person in Salisbury and Bethesda and by telehealth across Maryland.
Sources
If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 988. In an emergency, call 911.
